This coming weekend we are celebrating Father's Day. Last weekend was my niece's graduation party, and I knew I would be in a coma from prep and small talk, so we're a week late with the holiday.
Now, English is my father's second language, so I do give him some slack. However, he's been here since the 50's, so there really is no excuse for this blatant grammatical baloney.
So to celebrate our Father's Day, here are my favorite DAD-ism's from this week:
We are on our daily walk, reaching the top of an incline, when he says to me, " I really feel like I'm expiring!"
Me: Are you ok? (Thinking his heart is racing, and he's going to keel over) What exactly is wrong?
Dad: Well, it's so warm. I don't think I should have worn an undershirt.
Knowing it will do no good, I explain the difference between perspire and expire.
We are discussing the heat when he says, " That's why so many people in Mexico eat at 10:00 at night. It's just too hot to cook dinner before then.
Me: Yes. Lots of people eat later than we do.
Dad: Yeah, and that's why they have fiesta's during the day.
Again, I explain the difference between siesta and fiesta, knowing it will do no good.
We see this tiny little frog/toad hop in front of us on our walk.
Dad: I've never seen one so small.
Me: Well, I used to see tiny ones in Florida as a kid, when we went to visit Ricky. Sandy and I would catch them and little tadpoles at the lake. Thank God I did that then, because I wouldn't go near them now. So gross.
Dad: Well, didn't you have to ingest them during science class in school?
Yet again, knowing it will do no good, I explain the difference between dissect and ingest.
It was a banner week for Dad-ism's for me. If I could write, I would write a book. However, as Pam from Amber Ink told me, this topic has already been covered in a book named Bleep My Dad Says. Not nearly as good as my walks with dear old dad ;)
Have a great weekend!